Wednesday, 26 January 2011

The Power of One

Sometimes I get the notion that I can do ANYTHING! Everything! And all by myself....!


Ugh my back. I am not even at third trimester yet (When will that be? Yikes I am at 24 weeks tomorrow - there's a loooong way to go) but I feel the third trimester symptoms applying themselves without invitation to my ~weary~ body. I should have at least 2 more weeks of 'honeymoon' phase of pregnancy! Third trimester doesn't start until 26 weeks, dammit. My early date with crazy nervy scrapey-feeling back/hip pain has made me a bit nervous for the long road ahead, though, that's for sure. I even remember my last pregnancy, as I lay writhing for my minimum 30 minutes of horrible pain upon lying down in bed, thinking 'I can never be pregnant again, I can't handle months of this again...' Ha ha!!! Not true! I WILL handle months of this again! I CAN...but just because I HAVE TO now. No one has died before from terrible nervy scrapey hip feelings, as far as I know.... or have they? No. Not yet anyway. I just might, eventually, give it a few more weeks.

It is my fault, of course, that this has happened. My 'Power of One' stubborn do-it-all attitude has got me here. Last week I went and bought a dining table on eBay for the kitchen. Right now we have a little round granite bistro table that squashily seats 4, but in preparation for the new expansion I started looking for bargains - and got a table for 10 quid! Success! But, ummm. In Harlow. 50 miles away. When I pressed the 'bid' button I didn't truly consider some important factors - would the table even fit in my (normal-sized-on-the-small-side) car? What will I do with the kids to pick up the table? All the seats would need to be folded down to fit in any kind of table sized no car seats. How would I get a dining table INTO the car? And out? And carried into the house? Hmmmm. The answer was clear - Me.

My cunning plan was to leave a bit early from work, while the kids were still at nursery, and pick it up 'on the way' home. It wasn't as on the way as I thought, but good enough. It was about an hours drive from work, and then another hour home. So the night before I emptied the car of everything; God there is a lot in the car even when no one is in it! I lug into the house the 2 big car seats, the stroller, the buggy board, the large jug of washing fluid, the emergency kit, the shopping name it. Then there was the issue of getting the kids to nursery, on my way to work, but with no car seats. OK so I can't use the car. Fine, so I get them packed up in the double pushchair, and proceed with the 10 minute [mostly] uphill shove, all while dressed up in my dressy-ish work clothes of course, to get them into nursery. I assume the arms straight out back bent over heave-ho position! Those kids are heavy!!!! So by 7:45 am I am in a sweaty mascara running out-of-breath back hurting state already. Crap. I forgot their bags.

Then a light jog (in work clothes) at least [mostly] downhill with an empty pushchair. I grab their bags, chuck them in the car (I'm late already, I'll never make it to work on time!) and now drive back to nursery to go back in, just to drop off the kids things. Phew at least I was on my way now, my random detours were complete. In between meetings at work I make the final arrangements with my seller (I hadn't even been given the address yet - but I'd be dammed if I didn't pick up the table that day, after all my prep!!) and much relievedly received my address, game on for that afternoon. 4:30 pm, I'm coming.

So I get my table. My 141cm x 80cm solid wood and granite table. H-E-A-V-Y. The lady that is there to let me pick it up is pregnant also, due in 2 weeks. She's worse off that I am, I thought, so it's not like I can make her help! To glorious relief the frame of the table *just* fit inside the car, with no trunk or doors hanging open or anything, that was very good. So me and my big belly and poor little back got it in. Next stop, kids. There are still no car seats in my car, and the car is now filled to the brim with table. So I drive back home, collect the double pushchair again, and after my long day haul myself and the (at least empty for the [mostly] uphill walk) pushchair to nursery. And thankfully the heavy part of the walk with the kids is downhill on the way home - then bath and bed. Even hunching over the bath is starting to get to me - but I wouldn't miss that for the world.

I still needed to deal with the small [large] issue of the table in my car. And the state of the table. It was Gross with a capital 'G'. I see my 10 quid bargain was not necessarily that great a bargain, it has toddler agar, encrusted food, in every crevasse, and strange black rubbery smears all over the wood parts on the top. Papery sticker goo from years gone by speckled the solidified milk residue landscape. Totally gaggy yucky gross. I couldn't even bring it into the house, I had to deal with it in the garage. So me and my big belly and poor little back carried the table to the garage for processing. I use the term 'carried' very lightly. It was more like some kind of perverse drunken lugger dance. Imagine a drunken bum, as he sways abruptly to-and-fro through the streets, by the light of the moon; with no apparent direction or purpose. Now visualize the drunken bum holding onto a dining table, upright. That was me.

3 hours later, many cloths, disinfectant wipes, and heavy duty cleaning sprays later. In the cold garage. Bent over squatters style cleaning, no, scrubbing like a banshee, put-your-back-into-it cleaning. The table was then allowed into the house. The drunken bum then 'carried' the table from the garage in through the front door, to the kitchen for assembly. I screwed the legs on, which was alright, but then had to somehow flip the table over (!!) to get it right side up! I did it. Boy I was pooped, and it was not graceful (drunken bum) but I did it!

And the next day, the kids bookshelf I ordered came. So then I built that while the kids napped, and installed it (it required the electric drills and wall plugs and everything!). More squatters style; bent over put-your-back-into-it screwdriving. Then lugging the whole assembly around to drill it into the wall. Killer. I really like it though, I am pleased - it's super charming and the kids like it. That was worth the effort.

You know what though...the table is actually not quite right. After all that, curse that table, I've put it up for sale - on eBay! 30 quid though. For my efforts. :)

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